To the unexpected love that taught me to believe again
Sometimes life surprises us with moments that become unforgettable. Standing in front of Seattle’s gum wall, I couldn’t resist wanting a photo blowing a bubble, but I needed a quarter. He didn’t have one, yet he saw how much it meant to me. Without hesitation, opened the top of the bubble gum machine and grabbed one for me. In that instant, he ‘stole’ my heart with his gesture.
I had been in Seattle for a week with my parents, marking my first trip since recovering from a car accident in March. With a few days to myself before my friend Lisa joined me for our Alaska cruise, I decided to explore the city on my own.
It was the 4th of July, and in my patriotic shirt from DC, I quickly realized I was among the few dressed for the occasion. Wrong audience, I guess.
As fate would have it, I met S and spent the day wandering the city together. Two strangers, complete opposites in personality—he, shy and introverted, a typical tech enthusiast who didn’t often talk to people, and I, someone who thrives on connecting with random strangers—walked and talked through Seattle. We spent the entire day sharing about our lives and laughing, no walls or apprehension, just genuine conversation, as if we were old friends catching up. I can’t recall the specifics of our conversation, but the comfort and ease felt profound.
I kept telling him, I would have to meet up with my friend at some point, however she was not answering. I later thanked her for not answering. Our connection deepened over dinner while he worked on-call. Despite the possibility of parting ways, I suggested watching the fireworks at Gas Works Park. To my delight, he joined me, and under the night sky amidst the fireworks. Perhaps it was the perfect romantic setting, we felt a spark and held hands—a moment that set the tone for what was to come.
After I departed for my cruise, S and I stayed connected. When we docked, I had a late flight and spent the day exploring Leavenworth with him. I barely made my flight, dashing through the airport in record time.
My last relationship had ended about six months prior, so I was not looking for a relationship. I was not even thinking about dating to be honest, but to my surprise I met someone who made it worth taking another leap of faith.
What started with a day wandering Seattle began our long-distance journey via FaceTime. As we navigated months of nightly calls around his demanding work schedule, I found myself unexpectedly falling for him. I remember spending hours on the phone watching him decide what to order for dinner while we shared stories about our childhood and college years, we spent countless hours just laughing.
He was sweet, kind, and consistent—a bit of a joker who always made me laugh. His innocence and genuine nature, coupled with his limited dating experience, felt refreshing and magical. Being with him was so different than anyone else, it was calm, stress-free, predictable and I never felt any anxiety. I knew he wasn’t the romantic type nor would he ever be the man who would shower me with compliments and surprise me with grand gesture, his honesty, gentleness, and stability was enough for me to feel cared for.
One day, struggling with mounting medical bills from the accident, I was $800 overdrawn and selling whatever I could. Without hesitation, he asked to transfer funds to help me out, but I refused. Months later, when I asked why he’d lend money to someone he barely knew, he simply replied he never expected repayment. It was then I fell even more in love with him.
During that time, he tore his ACL. I had offered to fly out, but he refused to let me. I kept insisting and he kept refusing, so I did not. To this day, it haunts me that I just did not fly out and stay there to help him out. When I broke my foot, it hurt me even more to think that he had to manage his daily routine alone.
However, not all relationships are meant to last. At some point, I needed a more emotional connection, and he could not give that to me. His sole focus was work and solving problems, he told me it would take priority over everything. He also said his life goal was to get a PH. D, I said I would support him until he finished. He said, he would be so engulfed with school that he would not be able to give time to me and he knew I wanted kids, he was very laze fare about kids. He said that I would have to raise the kids by myself during that time. You would think these would be deal breakers, but I was playing the long game. I told him, I was happy to support him through school, which is not forever, it is just a phase, however once he graduates and starts earning a living, it must go back into the family funds. I also said I was fine raising the kids with him, but he will have to step up in his spare time.
We were different in so many ways, I was overly friendly, and he was extremely introverted. We spoke about my friends, and he told me he would drop me off and pick me up at the parties. I was fine meeting all his conditions, but the deal breaker was his inability to “miss me.” I asked how long it would take him to realize we broke up if I did not call. He said 6 months because I was not in war, dying of cancer or in immediate danger. I ended things with him at that point.
We parted ways, not speaking for nearly two years. I can’t remember who reached out first, but one of us did, reigniting our friendship. I’ve always had a rule about no contact post-breakup, but somehow, reconnecting felt right. He asked me to come visit, so I did, believing we might be able to have a friendship where our romance had faltered. Yet perhaps it was the universe’s way of signaling that our time together had passed. The week I arrived, he was moving apartments, leaving little time for us beyond logistical tasks. What started warmly quickly cooled. He was either moving items from his old place to his new place or working. I filled my time wandering the city, except one afternoon where we explored, but even that did not feel right anymore.
However, through it all, I learned more about him—his hidden talent for drawing, his childhood memories, and the impact of losing his father around the time of our breakup. His vulnerability touched me deeply; he mentioned his droopy eyelid, I had never noticed it. He was shocked, but for me I fell in love with his kindness and because the man I met was so kind to me, I didn’t notice any physical flaws.
Still, his admission that he didn’t miss anyone, including me, stung. Even as friends, I felt the absence of a connection that once bound us. Leaving, it was as if I was saying goodbye to someone who had become a stranger, leaving behind what once was. As he dropped me at the train station my last morning, with sadness, I knew we weren’t meant to be in each other’s lives anymore, even as friends.
That winter, I was battling severe Covid Pneumonia, I received a text from him. He shared his milestones—his sister’s wedding, achieving cycling goals, buying a home, and a new car—all positive news. I sat there patiently waiting for an opening or a moment for him to ask how I was doing. It never came, so I sat there quietly reading everything on the other side and when he was finished, I put my phone down and deleted all his messages.
Some people come into our lives for a season, while other’s stay for multiple seasons. He was only meant to come in and out of my life throughout various seasons, but he wasn’t meant to stay. He met me when my heart was still healing and taught me to love again. He taught me that in an instant two strangers with complete opposite personalities could connect on such a deep level. Not all bonds are permanent but meeting him had its purpose.